Tuesday, January 3, 2017

Fixing the Vote

So there has been many complaints from significant and important people in the past few weeks over Trump’s presidential victory.  I have no doubt that too many of the wrong people are voting and therefore their votes are skewing the election in favor of the people who promote badthink.

Never fear, though, I have some solutions to keep the stupid, racist, sexist, homophobic, transphobic rednecks from picking billionaire presidents ever again:

  • Place an IQ test on all voters.  If you do not have an IQ score of at least 100, then you should not be voting.  This will ensure that stupid people do not vote.
  • Only people who qualify for President of the United States can vote in any election.  This will prevent those shitlords under 35 from voting for president, as we know a lot of young people jumped on the Trump train.
  • Disqualify anyone on welfare of any kind.  People on the government dole tend to vote for people who are willing to sell out the government for a few table scraps, much like the evil rich do.
  • Eliminate the winner takes all system in the Electoral College.  Instead, electoral votes are awarded based on the district’s voting outcome.
  • Stop all government workers from voting.  Because they all have an interest in furthering the corporate agenda through government whoring, it is better that they do not vote.
  • Before voting is done, every voter should take a simple quiz which asks very basic civics questions.  Most rednecks hate school or learning, so this will keep the smarter ones from voting.
  • Get rid of absentee ballots.  This will prevent the Russians from sending in fake votes.
  • Stop recounts.  Recounts never favor the right candidates anyway.
  • Make the Electoral College people be randomly picked from eligible voters.  A simple software program could do this, with the correct data, and it would be a more reliable way to pick the president.
  • End women’s suffrage.  Unfortunately, redneck wives don’t have a voice anyway since they are beaten into voting for the wrong candidates.

That should ensure that stupid people don’t vote and therefore, the racist, sexist, and generally bigoted meanies from taking over all governments in the country.  I encourage everyone to take this seriously and promote these ideas so that the next election won’t be so close.