Son, it is time I talked to you about women. Not the sex talk that every father should talk to you about because I am certain that you’ve already learned much of that from friends and the Internet.
No, it is time I talked to you about how women operate and how they think. This is not an easy thing to talk with you about because I will be relating some harsh truths for you. Plus, everything I tell you will be contradicted by most other men and women alike.
Women, for the most part, are very pragmatic when it comes to romance. What this means is that they are not the sex who seeks out to be romantic. You’ll notice that when women claim they want romance, they often are unwilling to engage in it themselves and instead want you to expend resources in order to “romance” them.
This is not a bad thing, just a reality. For them, romance is a show not of affection or love, but of the status of your ability to provide for them and how much you are willing to spend on them.
Since the beginning of mankind, men have always been the provider. Women have been the child-bearer and manager of the provided resources. Now, this dynamic is not exact and the roles vary depending on the individual couple you look at, but in general this has been the case.
That is why, for instance, you have societies where men have more than one wife. In those cases, it is a status symbol for a man who has a lot of wealth and resources.
So when you go on dates, always be mindful that she is evaluating your ability to provide her with stuff.
The other thing you have to keep in mind is that you must also be attractive to women. This means you must present yourself well. You must be confident, even if you feel that pit in your stomach, and you must always keep your focus on her eyes when talking to her. If you show weakness or awkwardness, you might amuse her but you will not be able to attract her in any meaningful way.
There is a lot you can do in this regard but the point is you might have to fake your confidence if you wish to attract another woman.
As you get older, you may find yourself wanting to find a wife rather than just another “girlfriend”. You are fortunate in that you live in a time where you get to chose who you wish to marry rather than simply accept someone you mother and I select for you. Not that we would make a bad decision.
Dating for the purposes of finding a wife is more like a screening process. There are a lot of things that you can leave to personal taste but I would like to make a few recommendations so that you don’t find yourself with a woman you can’t stand to be with.
Understand that marriage requires sacrifices for both the husband and the wife. For the husband, he is giving up his freedom and his resources while at the same time assuming a leadership role nobody really trains him for. For the wife, she is giving up her freedom, hopefully her virginity, and her beauty to a man.
Knowing this dynamic is how you can better screen out women.
First of all, if she has had a lot of sex in the past before meeting you, she isn’t worth the trouble of marrying. Yes, she’s experienced. She’s also probably damaged and very likely to divorce you down the road. Now, most women average out to about 3 partners before marriage, and while there is some risk of divorce there, it is less than if she has more than 5.
Secondly, dump her as soon as you find out if she has had an abortion. Women who have had abortions aren’t interested in sacrificing for the good of a family.
Thirdly, don’t worry about trying to be a good Christian to women, even Christian women. Women tend to have a subjective moral code. Good Christian women have been known to compromise their beliefs in order to fulfill their emotional desires, oftentimes with devastating results. That is one of the burdens of being a husband and a father: that you must maintain a solid moral code for you and your family.
However, any woman who has no qualms about compromising her moral code, even against your wishes, will not suddenly submit to your headship after taking a vow.
Fourth, you shouldn’t worry so much about what she does for a living, but you should concern yourself with her spending habits. Women do spend much more than men, which is why marketing often targets women, but at the same time if she is irresponsible with her money, she will be irresponsible with your money once you are married.
Lastly, never stick around with a woman who cheats on you. Ditch her and never look back. If you can, don’t even associate with her friends.
I am no expert son, but at the same time, this is what experience and the experiences of others have taught me. Any fool can learn from his own mistakes. But a truly wise person learns from the mistakes of others. So understand the mistakes of others and do not make them yourself.
I want to finish this up by saying that I am not trying to discourage you in finding yourself a wife. It is always a risk and there is always the divorce of Damocles hanging over your head. But the rewards are much better and much more fulfilling. The only downside of divorce is that you may miss out on your kids and you may end up paying your ex-wife for the rest of your life. But understand that as a man, things will get better for you as you grow older. For women, they do not.
So take the risk within reason. Do not go for the crazy slut or the tattooed floosy. And always be ready to leave her should her behavior unworthy of your affections.
And lastly, do not fear women nor fear being alone in life. There are worse things.