Sunday, March 20, 2016

Dealing With The Fallout

I haven’t posted much in a while.  There is a good reason for this.  I’ve been on bereavement leave for the past couple of weeks.

My father-in-law passed away in sleep after the machines that were keeping him alive were pulled.  It didn’t take long for him to draw his final breath.  Merely 23 minutes once his ventilator was pulled out of him.

The sad fact is, we’ll never know what killed him.  He was suffering from some kind of spinal disease but whether it was bacterial, cancer, or genetic, we won’t know.  This is because his condition baffled doctors and when he finally got to a good hospital that probably could have diagnosed him, it was too late.

And then my mother-in-law decided, for some unknown reason, didn’t opt for an autopsy.

My mother-in-law is more than likely a borderline.  This means that everyone exists as an extension of her in her mind.

But we all were respectful of her and her loss.  Because good people put aside their personal shit to honor their loved ones.  Yes, it makes for a boring movie.  But that’s real life.

My employer offers a European-style package of paid leave.  In my case, immediate family members who die provide me with two weeks of paid leave.  So I took it because of the travel and because of the fallout after my father-in-law’s death.

And so we have it.  My mother-in-law had knee-replacement surgery last month and is still in recovery.  Now she is alone and unable to leave her home without help from others.  And normally, I’d feel deep pity for a woman in that situation.

But then she insists on driving long before she has recovered.  She is insisting on coming up to visit my wife and my family for Easter and only by driving.  This is despite the fact that she could easily take a bus, a train, or have a friend give her a right.

I don’t know how this ends, but I hope it doesn’t end with her harming herself or others because of her overwhelming emotions.

I’m not sure what to do.  I suppose I just have to let this play out.  We’ve asked her to take the alternatives and yet she seems to be hell-bent on driving here in spite of physical disability.

I can only hope that this won’t end up with me taking another two weeks off.