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Tuesday, April 29, 2014

Kids First?

In the Commonwealth of Virginia, there are sometimes license plates with the phrase “Kids First” written in cute faux-crayon.  These are meant to convey the driver’s support of children, usually to a political end of some kind.  More than likely, the driver is trying to convey a sense of civic responsibility in his or her support of the government school system.

But should kids come first above all else, save maybe God?  Should we place high priority on our children because, after all, children are our future, right?

I think that the answer is no.  I believe that kids are our future, for good or ill, and that we must do what we can to impart on them the virtues of justice and morality, but other than that, we are under no obligation to help them out in any way.

Modern notions of education are, I believe, misguided at best.  When send our kids to any kind of school, we are essentially depriving them of a solid education in favor of letting some drunk with an IQ of 92 teach them how to put a condom on a banana.  Or how to create an answer to a math question without it being correct or even feasible in the known universe.

On top of that, putting your kids above your own marriage is probably the worse decision that any parent can make.  Newsflash for all you idiots who do this: one day your kids will either grow up and move out or die.  Hopefully the former and not the latter.  Sooner or later, save some extraordinary circumstances, your children will leave you.

And then you’re stuck with your spouse who you’ve neglected for 20+ years in favor of some brat who couldn’t be bothered to remember your birthday but demands that you pay for his or her 24/7 fuckfest at college.  While he or she is on academic probation I might add.

And then when he or she graduates after 5+ years with a four year degree, the brat moves back in and has a couple of bastard kids.  Grandchildren that you have to watch because if you don’t take care of them, your brat will end up on the street in order to spite you for not letting him or her live with you.

Okay, maybe that’s a little extreme, but it sadly happens more often than not.  And this isn’t the worse case scenario.

My point is, do you really think that kids are worth putting ahead of the needs of your spouse?  Do you think they are worth putting ahead of the needs of the productive citizenry, especially when many could not give a flying rat’s ass about education beyond reading, writing, and arithmetic?

Look, I like kids, I really do.  I find them amusing, oddly insightful, and colorful in what is otherwise a dreary world.  But at the same time, I have no interest in educating them or raising them, other than the one(s) I have.  Why should I be forced to pay for your child’s outsourced education?  Are you too busy to care about them and so you have to vote to steal from me in order to do it?

No, we should not put kids first.  Doing so only encourages the little bastards to take advantage of us.