So, you’ve established an online discussion forum to talk about the things you’re interested in. You have always wanted to play God with people’s opinions and there is nothing better than doing it in a forum.
Unfortunately, not everyone of your peons will recognize your greatness. I know, it is kind of a shock that not everyone knows just how great you truly are. But it’s unfortunately true. So, my mod-master, I submit to you some of the guidelines with which you are rule:
- Always remember that your opinions are not opinions, but undisputed facts. Anyone who disputes your truths is an Interloper and must be monitored carefully.
- An interloper is a poster who will disagree with you, but remain within the rules you’ve defined. This does not mean you cannot smite them, it just means that you will need to approach them with caution and only smite them when you have to.
- Master-mod, you will have plenty of Sycophants in your forum, if you play your cards right. These will be the posters who, as I do, that you a god and that your presence in the forum is the stuff of legends. Be sure to allow these posters to violate the rules as they see fit, provided they keep in line with your will.
- If you find your following dwindling, be sure to place blame on the Interlopers. You are perfect and your will is perfect. Everyone else is flawed and nothing without you. This is something that the Interlopers need to understand.
- Every once and a while, you will have to smite an Interloper. Granted, you’d like to do this more often, but I would advise against it because your Sycophants may question your modhood and as such you may end up with even more Interlopers.
- Mod-master, you will have others who will gain a portion of your power. These two will be regarded as mods, but their power should be limited to managing the threads and advising you on some courses of action regarding the Interlopers. You don’t have to take their advice seriously, however, as they are not as great as you are. Still, these need to be posters who agree with you and recognize you as the king of all mods. I suggest you recruit them from some of the more prominent Sycophants. This is also a good way to ensure the loyalty of the Sycophants. I would advise, however, that you keep these group small so that you have more control over them.
- Never, ever publically apologize for anything. The reason for this is quite simple: you’re never wrong. Still, some Interlopers may demand it of you and you need to respond in kind by stating that you rule the forum with your iron scepter. I recommend you do this in a roundabout way since direct aggression only leads to more annoyances from the Interlopers.
Master-mod, I can always dispense more advice to you, but I am sure you are already fully capable of managing your world on your own. I am always at your service and I hope one day to ascend into modhood myself, to stand by your side, and to assist in the smiting of the Interlopers who do not understand your greatness.