Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Do You Suffer From Battered Conservative Syndrome?

This is a serious alert. You may be a victim of Battered Conservative Syndrome. Battered Conservative Syndrome, or BCS as it is commonly called, is a serious disorder in which an individual or group of conservatives cling desperately to a particular party in hopes they will change and let them get their way.

Symptoms include:

-The belief that this time around, the Republican party will behave, cut government spending, and deregulate the economy.

-The belief that abortion will be outlawed if we can only get this guy into office.

-The belief that gay marriage will destroy society and that the current candidate will save us from all those gays having sex.

-Despite being repeatedly ignored in your ideology when dealing with serious issues, you always trust that this Republican will be different, despite his past record.

-You constantly cling to your Republican candidate because you are worried that the other guy may be more abusive than the current one. This is also known as LTES or Lessor of Two Evils Syndrome.

-You buy the lies that he tells you and trust that he'll pick good conservative jurists, propose a balanced budget, and reform many government programs.

-You blame the opposition party when presented with evidence that this guy is not conservative.

-You are afraid of a third party because you can't fathom a coin with three sides.

The cure for this affliction? Well, there isn't one really. There is no point in reasoning with those afflicted with BCS because they will continue to hopelessly cling to the Republican party as long as the Democrat opposing them looks worse. This is usually the case, not necessarily because it is true, but because the Republican and his talk radio allies will exaggerate the depravity of the Democrat while ignoring, willfully or not, the moral deviancies of the Republican.

Recently, however, there was some hope. The Republican governor in Tennesse was kicked out by the populace because he tried to impose a state income tax. Most conservatives got over their problem and voted for (or didn't vote at all) the Democrat, who has yet to impose such a thing.

I've heard of a similar syndrome among Progressives, called BPS, but I have yet to confirm it.