Thursday, March 20, 2008

The Easy Way

Sometimes, when I'm really disheartened with the idiocracy we live in, I wonder if it would easier to take the side of the liberals. I'm smart enough and probably have more charisma than Al Gore. Heck, if I just tow the liberal line, I could have lots of friends (I live in Alexandria, VA), probably not feel all that guilty about taking money from tax payers, and maybe even find my on to a radio or television show. After all, liberalism is easy.

It is easy because there are so many things you can do as a liberal:

-I can send my kids to "public" school and not worry about the indoctrination that takes place there. After all, the teachers are smarter than me and they should be able to properly instruct my children in a manner that is levels above my intelligence.

-My wife and I can both work while we send our kids to daycare and after-school care. After all, it does take a village to raise a child.

-I can always trust the government, provided there are a certain number of Democrats in office.

-I can buy a house with an ARM and then count on the fact that the government will bail me out.

-I can blame America for everything because it's easy to do. I mean, try bad-mouthing Cuba while in Cuba or commenting on how that Venezuelan dictator looks like a child molester in Venezuela. In America, we have free speech, which means if I want to bash America, I can do it freely and openly. Heck, I may even burn an American flag on "Independence" Day.

-I can keep on calling our soldiers baby-killers. It's their fault for all the violence in this world anyway.

-I can blame Christianity for all the problems we have with Muslims right now. From the Crusades to the Spanish Inquisition, Christianity has been a bane on our society for centuries.

-I can drink myself into an incomprehensible stupor and still be able to sing in Spanish and be honored and praised for how insightful I am.

-I will be able to bash the government for funding non-profit religious organizations but wholeheartedly support tax payer dollars going to Planned Parenthood.

-I will drive a hybrid and bitch about high gasoline prices. At the same time, I will criticize those who suggest expanding nuclear energy, drilling for more oil, and building more refineries. In fact, when I am forced to take public transportation to work, I will scream about how high gasoline prices have hurt us all.

-I will complain about rising food prices but at the same time praise the use of ethanol in gasoline.

-I will refuse to believe any facts that are contrary to my deeply held beliefs.

-I will continue to support politicians who ban smoking almost entirely, but take up smoking myself.

-I will regularly attend a church that preaches hatred against America and white people, even though I am white myself.

-I will encourage poor people to stay poor through the use of payday lending, credit cards, and welfare checks.

But then again, I'd rather not be a hypocrite or a total asshole. I don't have enough pride to be a liberal I guess.