Wednesday, April 24, 2013

Dumbing It Down For You

Since most people despise logic and rational discourse, I think I’m going to dumb it down for you all.  Keep in mind that all of this is provable:

  • If you favor gun control, then you support rape.
  • If you favor the war on drugs, then you support the forced sodomizing of drug users.
  • If you favor the war on terror, then you support burning children alive.
  • If you favor economic sanctions against countries who don’t like ours, then you support starving children.
  • If you favor the police actions in Boston in the aftermath of the Boston Marathon Bombing, then you do not support the Constitution.
  • If you favor Federal regulations, then you are not a capitalist.
  • If you favor Defense Contractors, then you are not a capitalist.
  • If you favor the CIA, then you favor drug smuggling.
  • If you favor the war in Afghanistan, then you favor heroin use.
  • If you favor immigration, then you favor the destruction of the American ideal as the Founding Fathers envisioned it.
  • If you favor gay marriage, then you are a Statist.
  • If you favor restricted marriage licenses, then you are a Statist.
  • If you favor personal property taxes, then you favor centralized, Soviet-style planned communities.
  • If you favor higher education, then you hate young people.
  • If you favor abortion, then you hate black people.
  • If you favor the UN, then you support child rape.
  • If you favor more women in the workplace, then you support lower wages.
  • If you favor minimum wage laws, then you hate young people.
  • If you favor the Republicans, then you support corporatism.
  • If you favor the Democrats, then you support corporatism.
  • If you favor the Libertarian Party, then you are a Statist.
  • If you favor any other third party, then you are a collectivist.
  • If you favor the Federal Reserve, then you hate the free market.
  • If you think the banking system in America is representative of the free market, then you are a moron.