Forgive, but I’m just a little peeved today:
- You are stupid if you claim to be conservative but would rather vote for Obama over Ron Paul in 2012 (assuming Ron Paul gets it). Oh sure, backstabbing maverick McCain was perfectly fine to vote for because he was Republican. But God forbid you get a real spending cutter in office, one who has the balls to bring down society in order to end the madness of our Federal government.
- You are stupid if you don’t use turn signals. I don’t know where you are going and I would like to know. I will say this though: my care is completely paid for and I can afford the insurance. I have no problem getting into a car “accident” because of your negligent and impolite driving.
- You’re stupid if you use a public bathroom and leave the disposable hand towels on the floor rather than in the trash. What, the place isn’t a big enough dump already? You have to go in there crap on it even more than you have already? I see this all the time at work and I wonder how potential investors fell about the unsanitary conditions my fellow co-workers leave behind. It would not surprise me in the least if we lost business because of it.
- You are stupid if you believe the government is the solution for anything. And yes, I mean anything. They can’t even fight terrorism effectively. We spend over one trillion dollars a year on military and defense and we can’t keep some loser from Somalia try to set off a bomb concealed in his underwear.
- You are stupid if you think that you are owed anything in your life. If you believe that the world owes for whatever reason, you obviously think you are more important than you really are. I’m going to let you in on a little secret of the known universe: you are an insignificant butthole who needs to go out and earn what you think you are owed. If you work hard enough, you’ll probably get it.
- You are stupid if you have sex on the first date. This mostly applies to women who are seeking a permanent relationship (in other words, marriage). Men don’t respect women who put out. We just look at you as an easy mark and one we don’t have pay hundreds of dollars to boot. But if you want to remain single until you’re forty and no longer attractive, by all means keep your legs open.
- You are stupid if you take advantage of women who put out on the first date. Have you ever heard of the tons of diseases that can result? Did you just skip that part in Health class at the government skool you attended?
- You are stupid if you think that childhood obesity is anything but the fault of irresponsible parents. Parents, if your kids are obese, then you’re a bad parent.
- You are stupid if you own and regularly use a credit card. It has no value in your life and you are better off without it.
- You’re stupid if you’re a single (non-divorced, non-widowed) mother. What the hell were you thinking? That having a child would be fun? You know that illegitimate children are one of the four factors that determine the poverty rate in America, right? I guess not, you stupid bimbo. Hey, let me know when you’re daughter is 18. I’ll be sure to look for her on porn sites where all the other fatherless daughters go. (I actually make it a point to not look at porn, in all seriousness)
It is amazing to me the sheer stupidity you can encounter on a day to day basis. But I’m sure I am guilty of just as much human stupidity as the next jerk. Still, it doesn’t reassure me that these people are driving, ordering food, and breeding like rabbits. It’s a wonder that the skyscrapers are still standing, cars aren’t falling apart, and wild animals haven’t eaten us all. Maybe there’s some cosmic joke somewhere that I missed out on because I was busy taking a leak.
