Thursday, January 7, 2010

This Just In: Apparently Obama Sucks

So apparently the big and “fresh” news of the past two weeks is how incompetent Obama and his insane mime posse have been totally inept in handling the war on “terror”.  Janet Napolitano, who is more concerned with white guys who have “Don’t Tread On Me” flags than Muslims with explosive underwear (I wonder if he crapped himself and that’s where it all went wrong…), has proven to be utterly foolish.  So much so that the mainstream press can’t just simply spin this one for her.

I wonder if Ms. Shoulder Pads ever considered the magnitude of responsibly she would have as Secretary of Homeland Security.  I bet if she had, she would have told Obama to go fornicate himself and then dunk his head in the toilet and flush.  Instead, like all the others, she probably just looked at the power and forgot about the rest.  Someone should’ve given her a copy of the movie Spiderman before she considered the job offer.

But the only thing I can really blame the administration for is the piss-poor spin job they are doing.  Former President Clinton should have been the press secretary.  We’d get someone who was enjoyable to watch and still wonder if he’s got an intern under the podium.  I’d smoke to that, if I did smoke.

And I can’t really blame President Bush all that much either.  He was marginally more competent than Obama, but still was as much a Statist as his wife enjoyed knowing that women had the right to scrabbled the brains of their unborn child (yeah, I said it).  In actuality, this whole mess could be traced to the Cold War Era policies of creating as many intelligence and law enforcement agencies as we can get away with.

How can we honestly believe that with 15 intelligence agencies and several law enforcement agencies to boot, that we can successfully correlate all that information correctly?  Seriously, with each agency and department butting heads and competing for more of my grandkids’ money (I have no children yet, just so you know), are we to think that all these layers of egomaniacs will protect us?

So, in light of all this, I have some recommendations for Obama.  In the spirit of Orwell’s 1984, we must downsize.  In that book, there were only four agencies that ran the entire nation of Oceania.  We must consolidate each intelligence agency and begin firing the buffoons running them.  If you want to distinguish yourself from President Bush, don’t reorganize the same a-holes under a new manager or add another layer of bureaucracy.

Instead, it is high time that we trimmed the fat.  Our government is nothing more than an obese man trying to chase down a chicken in the mud.  It makes for stupid YouTube entertainment, but lousy national security.

The failure of our national security system is not political correctness necessarily, but merely big government and stupid bureaucrats, who couldn’t make it in the real world, dictating decisions based on their own inflated egos rather than the interests of protecting American lives.

Until we reduce the size and scope of government, we will continue to see terrorists attempt more and more things.  And it is only a matter of time before a 9/11 or higher caliber attack hits us again.  Stop playing games with our lives Mr. President and take this stuff seriously.