Monday, November 26, 2007

Dear Crazy Bitch

I know who you are but you definitely don't know me. I'm the husband of the woman you harassed over the phone at work. I don't know your name, but I know that your daughter works at a store that my wife manages. She is the manager of the store because the owner, a very nice, but slightly obsessive man decided that her sunny attitude and devotion to the job is what makes her well qualified to manage a store that sells smoothies.

When your daughter called in today to tell my wife that she was too sick to work, my wife simply asked her to find someone else to cover her shift. Yes, my wife was very capable of doing it herself, but, you see, she was working. She has several responsibilities herself. My wife even offered this girl phone numbers she could call to help her out. It probably would have been a great, real-world learning experience for her too. But alas, after several minutes, my wife decided to call your daughter in order to make sure that she was doing what she was asked to do.

Your husband answered the phone. What he was doing home in the middle of the day is beyond me, but I'm guessing he is a jobless bum. I say this because when my wife asked if she was around and if she was calling people to fill her shift for today, he responded that it was my wife's job. Granted, that's a reasonable argument, but also a very apathetic one. Obviously, your husband's attitude about working is very "enlightened" and probably is the reason he was home to answer the phone in the middle of the day, rather then out doing something Dr. Laura refers to as "slaying dragons."

So my wife decided that she was going to have to find someone to fill that shift after her phone conversation with your husband. Clearly, she didn't feel that confident that your daughter would actually live up to the expectations and responsibilities that this job asked of her. Five minutes later, you called and the real reason why I am writing this begins.

Your daughter had apparently called you up and told you that she couldn't call in sick. That was an outright lie but I guess the thought never crossed your mind. This was my first clue as to what you are. You accused my wife of working her too hard (I guess one weekday and both weekends is a bit much) and you said that her responsibilities were too much. I guess keeping a store clean and counting 500 dollars in assorted bills and coins is a bit much for a teenager to handle. After all, she is an honor student, right?

Editor's note: She is apparently in the advanced placement classes which include mathematics. If she has trouble counting coins and entering the number of coins (not amount) into a computer, then I don't have much faith in public school either.

So after taking the time to harass my wife at work while my wife is trying to reason with you and finally capitulating that she will find someone to fill the shift for your daughter. In fact, what you probably didn't hear over the phone was that my wife was seriously considering finding a shift replacement for her permanently. Considering that your daughter was too sick to work a shift she'd said she would work but not sick enough to attend a school meeting, this may be for the best.

Which brings me to my final point. I said in the beginning that I know who you are. I don't know your name, but I know that you are a child abuser. You enjoy enabling your daughter to skip out on her responsibilities and you enjoy berating those who oppose you. You are teaching your daughter that mommy will take care of everything and that she does not have do anything responsibly. This lesson will really come in handy when she obtains her first credit card when she is jobless in college. She will eventually come to the realization that you are insane and probably disown you and you will die alone after your husband dies way too early because of his previously mentioned views on working. Have a nice life!

Writer's Note: Yes, this really happened. My wife told me that her boss, the owner, once had to deal with another crazy mother who yelled at him for firing her daughter because it disrupted her dinner plans. Nevermind that the girl was caught on camera stealing from his store.